On the Subway

I wish I could read people's minds. 


Not to know their innermost thoughts, not find all their secrets. People can keep their secrets – it makes them feel more interesting.  But I wish I could read minds so I could comfortably give a dollar to the man who claims to be hungry.  I want to know without a doubt that my dollar is going to buy the man a banana. Or an orange. Or a carton of french fries, it doesn't have to be nutritious. 


I just moved to New York City, and there are so many people here are asking for help, lowering themselves to beg the common man for aid, yet I and my 8 million other city dwelling counterparts rarely give a beggar any more than a sympathetic smile, if that.  We can't do anything but guess whether an act of kindness will help or hurt them. Is this guy really a US army vet recently back from Iraq and down on his luck?  How the hell do any of us know?  I just wish I could read minds! 


I want to be able to tell the difference between two homeless men who look so similar that I base my judgement on surface clues that may or may not be relevant.  I want to be able to tell their sadnesses apart, because God, these men look so sad. 


We see them everyday, sometimes alone, sometimes with two or three kids, sometimes limping, and sometimes without legs.  I doubt many people can tell a worthy person from a bum.  How do we look a gaggle of poorly dressed little boys and girls in their innocent, wide eyes and say, "I'm sorry, I can't give you this dollar because it's tough to tell if mommy is going to eat it or snort it. Understand?"  


Fairly, one might argue that there are programs and shelters for people in need, and there are other channels to support the deserving people who could use a little help.  Sometimes it's just crushing to wonder if in any other world, we could tell the difference.


A revolution is probably the last thing on my mind, but sometimes I do want to change the world.

Why We Do College (And Should All Drop Out)

College. There is a universe of good reasons to do it. (Yes, that's right - do it; because widespread as the phrase may be, very few successful students simply go to college.) But I don't care about those, do I? If you made it to the 7th grade, you've been hearing different versions of those good reasons for quite some time now. I want to start talking about the reasons NOT to do it. We get tons of reasons not to do drugs, a shit ton of reasons not to have sex, and now I want to know why I should not have done college.

The first place I'd like to look for answers is high school guidance counselors. After all, it is they who so frequently speak to lost and horny teens about possible options for the future; and it is they who purport that college is the only plausible next step for the poor, unfortunate, soulless kids. ...But is it their fault? Those counselors only want to keep their jobs! Truly, they'll be working on downtown street corners if not enough of their school's graduates go on to university!

That's why my finger itches to point fault at the hegemonic, normalized belief that the only way to success is through the highly stratified institution of "higher" education. But that would just be too easy. (Guess where I learned all those big words. Yes, that's right. College.)

But that was when I stopped looking for answers and figured it out. It's a big one, are you ready?

We're not meant to actually learn anything in college.

*goggle eyes*

Really, think it through: there is quite simply not enough time. In the long run average, a person probably retains 5 to 8 pieces of information from each course taken per semester. I could get those 5 to 8 tidbits by doing a fucking Google search once a week. Not only that, but check these out:

TOP 6 REASONS TO NOT DO COLLEGE

1. You pay people to make you buy books and read them. Just pay YOURSELF to buy books and read them.

2. It leads to chronic stress, which, ironically, damages the hippocampus of the brain (where memories are stored.) Chronic stress has many other extremely bad effects on your body as well. (Sounds like this girl learned that in college. It's one of her 5 to 8.)

3. Most jobs/occupations begin with industry knowledge that is learned only after being employed. (Medical and legal professions aside.)

4. It's a cesspool of bad habits! Not the least of which involve unhealthy eating and illegal substance abuse. (Note: Your Humble Narrator never said that any the aforementioned substances were bad or cannot be acquired elsewhere.)

5. You lose years of your life to doing things that you won't remember. (This memory loss may be attributed to chronic stress, short-term nature, or the consumption of previously mentioned substances.)

6. There are so many other options! Just pick one! Walk from Maine to Mexico! Train for the Olympics! Do the Peace Corps! Do Drum Corps! Do the Marine Corps! Find something else that ends in "Corps," and do it!

...And yet. We do it anyway. So if you're like me, stuck in university with no idea what you're doing there, know this:

You're not doing college to learn shit. (Remember the 5 to 8?) But you are there to find your passions and figure out what you're on this earth to do! (And figure out what you're NOT on this earth to do!) So you've got to really use your time at university to figure things out and chase those little dream nuggets that you may have never thought possible. Because if you don't, you'll leave and end up wishing that you could go back.

What are YOUR reasons not to do college?